Finding support after losing a baby, either during pregnancy or after birth, can be very difficult, but a new group in Bellingen is providing a safe space for mothers experiencing baby loss.
Happymess Art Therapy Studio, located behind the post office in Hyde St, Bellingen, run “a gentle space for connection, support, and healing” for all mothers who have experienced the loss of a baby, meeting twice a month on Tuesday evenings.
“Every group starts with a ritual,” Bronwyn, one of the Happymess creative arts therapists, says. “We light a candle and just take a moment to think about the babies who have been lost.”
This is followed by a creative arts activity using crayons and a small piece of paper.
“There is no expectation of a masterpiece,” Bronwyn says. “It’s more about answering the question: ‘What is the shape of my grief today?’”
For some women, that can mean leaving the page blank, which Bronwyn says is also fine.
Unlike the multiple groups for people living with addiction, cancer, or other forms of grief and loss, support for the specific experience of losing a baby is limited. Women have travelled from as far as Port Macquarie to attend.
According to widely cited statistics, one in four women will experience pregnancy or infant loss. While there are many groups supporting mothers after the birth of a healthy baby, there are few specifically for women who have lost a child.
Bronwyn says there is still significant taboo around discussing baby loss. Women may feel guilt or blame themselves, while others may find it difficult to listen to their stories.
Living in a small town can add another challenge, she says, as some women may find it difficult to share such personal experiences within a close community.
Cara, a mother who has lost four babies during pregnancy and after birth, says many people do not realise the impact of baby loss and therefore struggle to respond.
She says one-on-one counselling can help, but it does not address the isolation.
“It’s a big journey to go through and it can feel so lonely,” Cara says. “It’s been amazing to sit with other women who have gone through the same thing.”
For those concerned the group could be re-traumatising, the therapists speak with each participant after they RSVP to explain how the sessions work and ensure the group is appropriate for them.
For some women, particularly those whose loss is recent, Bronwyn says one-on-one therapy may be more suitable.
She stresses the sessions are not designed for unpacking deep trauma and that participants needing this level of support will likely be referred to individual counselling.
Women of all ages and at all stages of grief are welcome.
“We’ve had women in their sixties and seventies come along,” Bronwyn says. “Some have never had the opportunity to grieve their loss, so it can still feel very fresh.”
Other women have experienced multiple losses and may still have never had a baby. This can be especially true for women who have had to terminate pregnancies for medical reasons.
Feedback from mothers who have attended the sessions has been overwhelmingly positive. One participant wrote:
“The baby loss circle has been one of the most meaningful and healing experiences since losing my daughter four years ago. Sitting in a safe, well-supported circle with other mothers who have lost babies is incredibly beneficial in ways I struggle to fully put into words.
“There is something profoundly powerful about being in a space where your grief is understood without explanation, where no one tries to fix you and where your baby is acknowledged and remembered.”
Bronwyn and Miranda, who run Happymess, are registered therapists with experience across a wide range of mental health needs.
They recently met with Red Nose Australia to discuss ongoing sessions and potential collaboration, hoping similar groups can expand to meet what they say is a significant community need.
Cara says sourcing funding for the group has been difficult, but several local GP clinics have offered support.
The next meetings of the Holding Space Baby Loss Circle will be held on Tuesday, March 17 and March 26 from 6pm to 8pm, with a maximum of 12 participants.
The group is open to women who have lost a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss, termination for medical reasons or infant loss up to one year.
Those interested are requested to RSVP.
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